Depressed

Browsing and reading through some of the local blogs and stumbled upon an entry of a girl who committed suicide. She plunged to her death from Wisma Commonwealth in Bukit Jalil. She had bipolar disorder since her parent divorced in the 11ish. Rest in peace and may God bless her soul.

So, what the heck is bipolar disorder? I've realised how useful Google and Wikipedia is.

Bipolar disorder is a psychiatric condition defined as recurrent episodes of significant disturbance in mood. These disturbances can occur on spectrum that ranges from debilitating depression to unbridled mania. Individuals suffering from bipolar disorder typically experience fluid states of mania, hypomania or what is referred to as a mixed states in conjunction with depressive episodes. These clinical states typically alternate with a normal range of mood. The disorder has been subdivided into Bipolar I, Bipolar II and cyclothymia, with both Bipolar I and Bipolar II potentially presenting with rapid cycling.

Signs and symptoms of the depressive phase of bipolar disorder include: persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, guilt, anger, isolation and/or hopelessness, disturbances in sleep and appetite, fatigue and loss of interest in usually enjoyed activities, problems concentrating, loneliness, self-loathing, apathy or indifference, depersonalization, loss of interest in sexual activity, shyness or social anxiety, irritability, chronic pain (with or without a known cause), lack of motivation, and morbid/suicidal ideation.

(read full text here)

For a period of time, I went through depression but it was not that serious until it entitled me a thought for committing suicide. I valued life and I respect it! (Note: it doesn't mean I'm condemning the last decision she made) My case, it's more like a season thingy. My depression mode would be switched on during a certain period of the year. Sad to say, if you do notice my previous entries, I think I'm in that mode already. ;-p

Ending own life is definitely not the right way to iron things out. Suicide needs a lot of courage. Why not use that courage to face those problems and find the solutions? Sometimes, things are easier said than done. In the end, no one will be able to help other than ourselves.

Value life.
Cherish life.
Respect life.