Gone Nutty

I don't know what is happening to me lately. My brain nerves must has gone crisscrossed to a only-God-know what state. I was god-damn moody for more than a week. I am not mixing with other people, not too much talk between friends, made a lot of "down" statements.. basically just rubbish. To tell you the truth, I don't even know what am I writing right now!

Last night, I was messaging a pal. She was talking about buying Nike tee and asking when I am going to buy new clothes for Chinese New Year. I was so disinterested then and started blurring stuffs. I actually said that I am not going to celebrate Chinese New Year so there is no need to buy new clothes. She was kind of shock. Well, Nike woh.. one of my obsessions and I am NOT interested.. She wondered if not letting me to kacau her is causing this. No one in this world have the obligation to keep someone accompanied. After a few messages, I fell asleep. This morning, she sent me a SMS but I did not reply immediately as I was setting up the stupid PC. It was like 10 or 15 minutes later, she sent another SMS apologising if I had angry with her.

To you-know-who,

No, I did not gone nut because you did not let me to kacau you. No, I am not angry at you and why would I angry at you when you did nothing wrong? I am just feeling mad at myself and shutting myself up. It is one kind of a feeling which is hard to describe.

Instead, I am very grateful and thankful for your presence. I couldn't express my gratitude more. I am not a very straight-forward or a very direct kind of person, so I will not walk in front of you, hug and thank you. I am an indirect kind of person instead. You will even not noticing it if I am doing it but just want to let you know how grateful I am.

Thank you.